- Mario: you're becoming the sickly kid. like Arnold, ya know, from magic school bus. one day were all gonna go inside you.
- me: well you guys are gonna die in there because I'm constipated.
- Mario: whatever, we got a magic school bus! that shits turning into a drill, we'll come out your ass hole. I feel sorry for the guy that's gotta clean that bus.
- Me: sometimes I really do wanna break your legs or something.
- Mario: WHAT?! Why'd you say that so SWEET?! Stop. Just stop it!
- "Hello 911, there is a butt bandit in my house. He's eating my shit. He's literally is eating my shit."
- Jones: you got 9 slices?
- Me: what! No ya dumb ass. Pizza's have 8 slices.
- Jones: shit, I don't know! Maybe they threw an extra slice in there cos they thought you were pretty. you know how you go and they don't know how to slice the damn thing.
- me: get a pizza and it ends up looking like a Christmas tree!
- Mario: can you stop being irate?
- Me: can you stop messing with my nerves?!
- Mario: what nerves!?
- Me: MY HEART NERVES.
Wait, wait, wait. Is this the stupid bitch or the mom? White people look the same to me.
—Mario
Being awkward isn’t cute, it’s uncomfortable. Its like a fart in the room that nobody wants to claim.
—Mario
me: i love merlin, mario.
mario: why?
me: because i want the magic. I WANTS THE MAGIC.
mario: yeah, i used to watch those shows when i was a kid. then i stopped cos i got angry.
me: why?
mario: i never got powers. same reason i hated gushers. my head never turned into a cherry.
- beau: watch the ceiling fan video
- me: YEAH SURE SO THEY CAN FIND MY DECEASED BODY COVERED IN CACA ON THE COUCH WITH A HORRIFIC SMILE ON MY FACE.
- beau: atom grin 1987~2012 she died as she lived
- me: in caca we trust
- beau: go d bles x*x*x*x*
- me: can my tombstone just be a huge poop
- beau: like a swirly poop
- me: of course but it'll have my face imprinted on it...but like when ur close u can't see it so u think ur going mad
- beau: WTF CHI
- me: ur all DUDE I SWEAR TO GOD HER FACE WAS LOOKING AT ME. and everyone will be like wow rude beau ur sister is dead how could u say shes a shit!
- beau: ooooms NO IM GONNA POOP ON U
- me: instead of leaving flowers u come shit on my grave once a week. the ground keepers hates u.
Mario has made us a family catch phrase.
Don’t fuck with the Flores, or you’ll know where the floor is.
